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ChuckNorrisIsGod.com http://www.chucknorrisisgod.com Scientifically proven facts about Chuck Norris.
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Fact # 198 The reason Lance Armstrong always wins the Tour de France is because at roughly the half way point, Chuck Norris Yells "Get your ass in gear!" and Roundhouse Kicks Lance in the back of the head.... He then picks up Lance's bike, walks to the finish line and waits for Lance to land so he can put the bike under him. http://www.chucknorrisisgod.com/browse.php?offset=197 Fri, 22 Feb 2019 07:19:24 -0800 Fact # 537 Chuck Norris has been to noman's land. http://www.chucknorrisisgod.com/browse.php?offset=536 Fri, 22 Feb 2019 07:19:24 -0800 Fact # 161 When in combat and under heavy fire, Chuck Norris wears a bullet proof vest. Not because hes afraid the bullets will kill him, but because hes a little ticklish. http://www.chucknorrisisgod.com/browse.php?offset=160 Fri, 22 Feb 2019 07:19:24 -0800 Fact # 510 Chuck Norris' sneezes are of such power that the National Weather Service names them. The last two were named Katrina and Rita. http://www.chucknorrisisgod.com/browse.php?offset=509 Fri, 22 Feb 2019 07:19:24 -0800 Fact # 299 Chuck Norris is illegal in 48 countries. http://www.chucknorrisisgod.com/browse.php?offset=298 Fri, 22 Feb 2019 07:19:24 -0800 Fact # 67 Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter. http://www.chucknorrisisgod.com/browse.php?offset=66 Fri, 22 Feb 2019 07:19:24 -0800 Fact # 225 Chuck Norris' penis is only two inches. From the ground. http://www.chucknorrisisgod.com/browse.php?offset=224 Fri, 22 Feb 2019 07:19:24 -0800 Fact # 139 Chuck Norris' wet dreams are what we now know as tsunamis http://www.chucknorrisisgod.com/browse.php?offset=138 Fri, 22 Feb 2019 07:19:24 -0800 Fact # 332 Chuck Norris saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the next morning they found his arm in Cuba. http://www.chucknorrisisgod.com/browse.php?offset=331 Fri, 22 Feb 2019 07:19:24 -0800 Fact # 144 Chuck Norris has non-agression pacts with over 50 countries. He refuses to sign one with Vietnam and periodically makes menacing threats, though privately he insists that he's just messing around. http://www.chucknorrisisgod.com/browse.php?offset=143 Fri, 22 Feb 2019 07:19:24 -0800 Fact # 168 Chuck Norris' girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't **** with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf. http://www.chucknorrisisgod.com/browse.php?offset=167 Fri, 22 Feb 2019 07:19:24 -0800 Fact # 524 Chuck Norris's mom hit him once. Once. http://www.chucknorrisisgod.com/browse.php?offset=523 Fri, 22 Feb 2019 07:19:24 -0800 Fact # 412 Chuck Norris ate a whole wheel of cheese and pooped in the fridge and no one is even mad... no one that lived to tell about it, that is. http://www.chucknorrisisgod.com/browse.php?offset=411 Fri, 22 Feb 2019 07:19:24 -0800 Fact # 220 When Meatloaf sang "I would do anything for love but I just won't do that...", he was reffering to taking a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris but wouldn't mention it out of FEAR! http://www.chucknorrisisgod.com/browse.php?offset=219 Fri, 22 Feb 2019 07:19:24 -0800 Fact # 79 Chuck Norris's urine was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids. Therefore, Chuck Norris is actually the all-time single-season home run king. http://www.chucknorrisisgod.com/browse.php?offset=78 Fri, 22 Feb 2019 07:19:24 -0800