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Chuck Norris is God - ChuckNorrisIsGod.com

Chuck Norris is God

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Top 10 Facts:
# 100A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
4.35 Roundhouse Kicks (2036 votes)Rate it:12345

# 83Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
4.28 Roundhouse Kicks (3279 votes)Rate it:12345

# 1Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.
4.26 Roundhouse Kicks (4253 votes)Rate it:12345

# 151Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
4.25 Roundhouse Kicks (2345 votes)Rate it:12345

# 105Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
4.24 Roundhouse Kicks (3198 votes)Rate it:12345

# 178Chuck Norris lost his viginity before his dad did.
4.23 Roundhouse Kicks (1640 votes)Rate it:12345

# 196Mr. A once claimed that he's tougher than Chuck Norris. Upon hearing about this, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him so hard he flew 19 letters back in the alphabet, becoming Mr. T. Chuck Norris does not pity the fool.
4.22 Roundhouse Kicks (1461 votes)Rate it:12345

# 381In the Coke vs. Pepsi Challenge, Chuck Norris chose Sprite...and he was right.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (1776 votes)Rate it:12345

# 536Scientists created Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sly Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Vin Diesel, and Hulk Hogan by using urine samples from a toilet Chuck Norris once pissed in.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (618 votes)Rate it:12345

# 101Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
4.19 Roundhouse Kicks (2725 votes)Rate it:12345

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15 Random Facts: (more)
# 401Chuck Norris has only ever had one bad movie review. Just the one.
3.3 Roundhouse Kicks (303 votes)Rate it:12345

# 291Chuck Norris once built a space station out of debris from his beard. Upon completion, Norris roundhouse kicked it into space with him on it. Soon after, CATS showed up to steal Chuck's beard-station. Just before he could finish saying, "All your base are belong to us," CATS received a roundhouse kick to the face, sending him sailing into space. After that, Chuck said, "All your face are belong to Chuck!" CATS received severe brain damage from the incident, was rendered handicapped from the neck down, and now tries to earn an honest living as a florist.
2.34 Roundhouse Kicks (364 votes)Rate it:12345

# 125They call it 9/11 because that is the ratio of Chuck Norris' ratio of roundhouse kicks to num-chucks he stores in his ass.
2.2 Roundhouse Kicks (488 votes)Rate it:12345

# 511Atlantis did not exist. At least, not after Chuck Norris left.
3.59 Roundhouse Kicks (297 votes)Rate it:12345

# 77Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
3.11 Roundhouse Kicks (406 votes)Rate it:12345

# 352When Eve ate the forbidden fruit Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked in her in the ovaries.
3.43 Roundhouse Kicks (361 votes)Rate it:12345

# 590Chuck Norris uses Anthrax like baby powder.
3.79 Roundhouse Kicks (374 votes)Rate it:12345

# 264No one shot 50 cent 9 times. 50 cent shot himself 9 times because Chuck Norris told him to.
3.78 Roundhouse Kicks (688 votes)Rate it:12345

# 88When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."
4.08 Roundhouse Kicks (816 votes)Rate it:12345

# 383Chuck Norris didn't invent the internet. Chuck Norris invented Al Gore.
3.55 Roundhouse Kicks (472 votes)Rate it:12345

# 253Nintendo once made a Chuck Norris video game, but it was so difficult that only one person has beaten it...Chuck Norris. In addition he did so while blindfolded with both hands behind his back, singing a song about "killing noobs".
3.58 Roundhouse Kicks (394 votes)Rate it:12345

# 138The reason "We have it our way" is because Chuck Norris is threatening to roundhouse kick Ronald McDonald if we don't.
3.17 Roundhouse Kicks (414 votes)Rate it:12345

# 558Elvis isn't dead. He's hiding from Chuck Norris.
4.07 Roundhouse Kicks (774 votes)Rate it:12345

# 283The Titanic was at a bit of a disadvantage to Chuck Norris' bicep because he was standing on the ship, so the deck was tilting 45 degrees into the water.
2.08 Roundhouse Kicks (327 votes)Rate it:12345

# 328Chuck Norris' chest hair are use to cut diamond... they weight 12 pounds each and are viral.
2.74 Roundhouse Kicks (301 votes)Rate it:12345

-- More Random Facts --

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