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Chuck Norris is God - ChuckNorrisIsGod.com

Chuck Norris is God

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Top 10 Facts:
# 100A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
4.35 Roundhouse Kicks (2036 votes)Rate it:12345

# 83Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
4.28 Roundhouse Kicks (3280 votes)Rate it:12345

# 1Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.
4.26 Roundhouse Kicks (4253 votes)Rate it:12345

# 151Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
4.25 Roundhouse Kicks (2347 votes)Rate it:12345

# 105Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
4.24 Roundhouse Kicks (3198 votes)Rate it:12345

# 178Chuck Norris lost his viginity before his dad did.
4.23 Roundhouse Kicks (1641 votes)Rate it:12345

# 196Mr. A once claimed that he's tougher than Chuck Norris. Upon hearing about this, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him so hard he flew 19 letters back in the alphabet, becoming Mr. T. Chuck Norris does not pity the fool.
4.22 Roundhouse Kicks (1462 votes)Rate it:12345

# 381In the Coke vs. Pepsi Challenge, Chuck Norris chose Sprite...and he was right.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (1776 votes)Rate it:12345

# 536Scientists created Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sly Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Vin Diesel, and Hulk Hogan by using urine samples from a toilet Chuck Norris once pissed in.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (620 votes)Rate it:12345

# 101Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
4.19 Roundhouse Kicks (2727 votes)Rate it:12345

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15 Random Facts: (more)
# 197The facts collected here barely scratch the surface of Chuck Norris' power, but reading the real truth about Chuck Norris would be completely lethal to anyone but Chuck Norris.
3.72 Roundhouse Kicks (401 votes)Rate it:12345

# 533Chuck Norris is the reason Charles Xavier is crippled. No one invades Chuck Norris' mind except Chuck Norris.
3.92 Roundhouse Kicks (367 votes)Rate it:12345

# 541BC stands for Before Chuck.
3.96 Roundhouse Kicks (420 votes)Rate it:12345

# 228The Death Star is loosely based on Chuck Norris' orgasm. Now we only have one moon.
2.77 Roundhouse Kicks (331 votes)Rate it:12345

# 235In the future all football players will be genetic copies of Chuck Norris. However, the original Chuck Norris will dominate them easily, because not even fake Chucks are as good as the real Chuck.
2.24 Roundhouse Kicks (375 votes)Rate it:12345

# 41Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
4.12 Roundhouse Kicks (1409 votes)Rate it:12345

# 446When asked whether his favorite way of killing people was with his fists, feet, or innocent bystanders, Chuck Norris answered, "Both."
3.42 Roundhouse Kicks (273 votes)Rate it:12345

# 218Depending on your point of view, Jesus Christ is Chuck Norris in disguise or Chuck Norris is Jesus Christ in disguise.
2.66 Roundhouse Kicks (355 votes)Rate it:12345

# 296Chuck Norris Went Into Space And Round-Kicked An Asteroid. The Freshly Round-Kicked Asteroid Went Back In TIme And Killed The Dinosaurs.
2.98 Roundhouse Kicks (338 votes)Rate it:12345

# 397
Chuck     \O            The
Norris:   -|/           Cosmos:   o
           /

To scale.
2.45 Roundhouse Kicks (470 votes)Rate it:12345

# 580When Chuck Norris plays Ice Hockey, it's always sudden death.
3.81 Roundhouse Kicks (360 votes)Rate it:12345

# 508Chuck Norris found Jimmy Hoffa.
2.72 Roundhouse Kicks (293 votes)Rate it:12345

# 462When Chuck Norris puts his foot down, Tsunami's happen.
2.61 Roundhouse Kicks (342 votes)Rate it:12345

# 133Once Chuck Norris was sitting on a park bench. There were two guys with cell phones sitting there with him. The first guy had a Sprint phone, and the second guy had a Nextel phone. Both guys go "Hey, Chuck, you suck!" Then Chuck roundhouse kicked both of their faces at the same time. You know the rest.
1.82 Roundhouse Kicks (591 votes)Rate it:12345

# 315A weatherman once got the weather wrong, so Chuck Norris threw him into space. That's why they're called meteorologists.
3.59 Roundhouse Kicks (387 votes)Rate it:12345

-- More Random Facts --

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