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Chuck Norris is God

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Top 10 Facts:
# 100A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
4.35 Roundhouse Kicks (2036 votes)Rate it:12345

# 83Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
4.28 Roundhouse Kicks (3280 votes)Rate it:12345

# 1Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.
4.26 Roundhouse Kicks (4253 votes)Rate it:12345

# 151Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
4.25 Roundhouse Kicks (2347 votes)Rate it:12345

# 105Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
4.24 Roundhouse Kicks (3198 votes)Rate it:12345

# 178Chuck Norris lost his viginity before his dad did.
4.23 Roundhouse Kicks (1641 votes)Rate it:12345

# 196Mr. A once claimed that he's tougher than Chuck Norris. Upon hearing about this, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him so hard he flew 19 letters back in the alphabet, becoming Mr. T. Chuck Norris does not pity the fool.
4.22 Roundhouse Kicks (1462 votes)Rate it:12345

# 381In the Coke vs. Pepsi Challenge, Chuck Norris chose Sprite...and he was right.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (1776 votes)Rate it:12345

# 536Scientists created Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sly Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Vin Diesel, and Hulk Hogan by using urine samples from a toilet Chuck Norris once pissed in.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (620 votes)Rate it:12345

# 101Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
4.19 Roundhouse Kicks (2727 votes)Rate it:12345

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15 Random Facts: (more)
# 560Chuck Norris roundhoused the whale in London.
2.22 Roundhouse Kicks (304 votes)Rate it:12345

# 384Chuck Norris was originally cast to play Willy Wonka in the original "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory." When they were filming the last scene in the balloon, Chuck Norris decided he didn't want to give the factory to Charlie, deciding instead to roundhouse kick the shit out of Charlie and his uncle and then do a triple back flip out of the balloon. The entire movie had to be reshot with Gene Wilder. Norris subsequently disappeared for 2 years.
3.36 Roundhouse Kicks (327 votes)Rate it:12345

# 201Chuck Norris was bored with Pangea so he shouted "Take off!" the continents fled in terror
3.36 Roundhouse Kicks (377 votes)Rate it:12345

# 296Chuck Norris Went Into Space And Round-Kicked An Asteroid. The Freshly Round-Kicked Asteroid Went Back In TIme And Killed The Dinosaurs.
2.98 Roundhouse Kicks (338 votes)Rate it:12345

# 144Chuck Norris has non-agression pacts with over 50 countries. He refuses to sign one with Vietnam and periodically makes menacing threats, though privately he insists that he's just messing around.
3.4 Roundhouse Kicks (388 votes)Rate it:12345

# 271Kidney stones passed by Chuck Norris can be found in stores everywhere. You and I know them as Cinnamon Discs.
2.06 Roundhouse Kicks (297 votes)Rate it:12345

# 78A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
4 Roundhouse Kicks (578 votes)Rate it:12345

# 222Chuck Norris' Cunnilingus is equal to a 9.4 on the Richter scale.
3.25 Roundhouse Kicks (335 votes)Rate it:12345

# 584There once was a man from Nantuckit...at least until he met Chuck Norris.
3.28 Roundhouse Kicks (297 votes)Rate it:12345

# 354Chuck Norris scored a perfect 10,000 in Academic Decathlon.
2.83 Roundhouse Kicks (254 votes)Rate it:12345

# 277The last summon in Final Fantasy 7 was Chuck Norris, but during beta testing, testers discovered that upon summoning, he roundhouse kicks the enemy, then your party, and then he comes out of the screen and roundhouse kicks you. Square lost so many employees as a result that they were forced to merge with Enix to make up for the loss.
3.28 Roundhouse Kicks (476 votes)Rate it:12345

# 667Chuck Norris does not eat the red smarties last.
2.46 Roundhouse Kicks (312 votes)Rate it:12345

# 2400The year was 1979 a meteor was hurling towards earth. It suddenly stopped at the site of Chuck Norris. It asked Chuck Norris for his autograph, then Chuck Norris roundhoused kicked it back to space.
2.53 Roundhouse Kicks (1005 votes)Rate it:12345

# 415Chuck Norris sent Yoko Ono to destroy John Lennon for unlicensed beard wearing and pacifism. She failed so he roundhouse kicked Lennon at Strawberry Fields.
2.46 Roundhouse Kicks (285 votes)Rate it:12345

# 449Chuck Norris has fixed every Superbowl by simply telling the team that he did not bet on, that he did not bet on them. It goes without saying that he has also won every Superbowl bet that he has ever made.
3.11 Roundhouse Kicks (238 votes)Rate it:12345

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