Top 10
Random
Browse
Recent
Submit
About
RSS
|
| # 90 | Deeming his too awesome for the world of mortal men or heaven, God attempted to destroy Chuck Norris by swallowing him. However Chuck Norris beat the shit out of God's insides, causing God to vomit him out. This led to the popular euphamism for vomiting, "Up-Chuck" | |   3.37 Roundhouse Kicks (455 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 91 | After the Grinch stole Christmas, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him in the face and took it back. Then he roundhouse kicked every last orphan in whoville and kept it for himself. | | 3.69 Roundhouse Kicks (428 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 92 | Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always. | | 3.93 Roundhouse Kicks (592 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 93 | Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own. | | 4.14 Roundhouse Kicks (2675 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 94 | If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down. | | 4.15 Roundhouse Kicks (1437 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 95 | They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody. | | 4.11 Roundhouse Kicks (1823 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 96 | Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer. | | 4.14 Roundhouse Kicks (1272 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 97 | As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history. | | 4.13 Roundhouse Kicks (798 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 98 | Achilles was supposedly the greatest warrior of all time, but he died because of his weak spot, the Achilles tendon. There is no Chuck Norris tendon. | | 4.15 Roundhouse Kicks (656 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 99 | Chuck Norris has a word for a person he puts into a coma; that word is "lucky". | | 4.15 Roundhouse Kicks (974 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 100 | A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris. | | 4.43 Roundhouse Kicks (1735 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 101 | Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one. | | 4.17 Roundhouse Kicks (2514 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 102 | Chuck Norris was going to spend a relaxing day watching television when one of those commercials for Trix cereal came on. Angered by what he saw, Chuck Norris spent the rest of his, what was supposed to be a relaxing day, punching every child he came across. He would then shout at them, "Trix are for Chuck Norris." | | 4.06 Roundhouse Kicks (685 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 103 | To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong. | | 4.09 Roundhouse Kicks (630 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 104 | Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. | | 3.93 Roundhouse Kicks (566 votes) | Rate it: |
|
|