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| # 35 | The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist. | |   4.16 Roundhouse Kicks (883 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 36 | When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever. | | 4.13 Roundhouse Kicks (1258 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 37 | Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out. | | 3.7 Roundhouse Kicks (512 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 38 | Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. | | 4.14 Roundhouse Kicks (1013 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 39 | Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress. | | 4.12 Roundhouse Kicks (1442 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 40 | There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live. | | 4.14 Roundhouse Kicks (3152 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 41 | Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. | | 4.11 Roundhouse Kicks (1374 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 42 | If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face. | | 3.96 Roundhouse Kicks (621 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 43 | The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably. | | 4.09 Roundhouse Kicks (829 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 44 | Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing. | | 2.29 Roundhouse Kicks (606 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 45 | Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
| | 4.14 Roundhouse Kicks (873 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 46 | Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean. | | 3.72 Roundhouse Kicks (570 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 47 | Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them. | | 4.15 Roundhouse Kicks (3130 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 48 | Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris. | | 4.1 Roundhouse Kicks (1059 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 49 | When Chuck Norris plays Red Rover, he walks over to the other line, roundhouse-kicks the first person, watches them all fall over in a domino, and screams out "Norris is over".
| | 3.28 Roundhouse Kicks (424 votes) | Rate it: |
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