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| # 161 | When in combat and under heavy fire, Chuck Norris wears a bullet proof vest. Not because he’s afraid the bullets will kill him, but because he’s a little ticklish. | |   4.13 Roundhouse Kicks (584 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 162 | The first Justice League of America was composed entirely of Chuck Norris. | | 3.65 Roundhouse Kicks (405 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 163 | Chuck Norris once had sex with a nun in Alabama. He was in Texas at the time. | | 4 Roundhouse Kicks (544 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 164 | God believes in Chuck Norris. | | 3.93 Roundhouse Kicks (574 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 165 | Chuck Norris is so tough that he blows bubbles with beef jerkey. | | 4.1 Roundhouse Kicks (643 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 166 | Nobody could serve as the reincarnation of Chuck Norris except for maybe Chuck Norris. And trust me, this one would be X times greater than the first. X equals Chuck Norris’s age when he dies, which won’t be anytime soon. | | 2.74 Roundhouse Kicks (291 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 167 | After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane". | | 4.14 Roundhouse Kicks (1485 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 168 | Chuck Norris' girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't **** with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf. | | 3.65 Roundhouse Kicks (544 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 169 | Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by pointing at her and saying "boo-ya". | | 4.08 Roundhouse Kicks (614 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 170 | Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium. | | 3.35 Roundhouse Kicks (454 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 171 | The sun doesn't shine on Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris shines on the sun. | | 3.5 Roundhouse Kicks (373 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 172 | Ever wondered why Hawaii is so far out in the Pacific? It used to be a small pineapple-producing island 20 miles off the coast of San Diego. During one visit, Chuck Norris ate a bad pineapple...
The rest, is history. | | 3.47 Roundhouse Kicks (352 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 173 | Hockey players, football players, soldiers, and yes women, never had to wear pads before Chuck Norris was born. | | 3.59 Roundhouse Kicks (344 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 174 | A cashier once asked Chuck Norris, "Paper or plastic." Chuck Norris replied, "If you say so," and roundhouse kicked her in the face. | | 3.35 Roundhouse Kicks (406 votes) | Rate it: |
| # 175 | Once, between scenes on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, an actor asked Chuck, "Why do you always deliver roundhouse kicks to the bad guys? Why don’t you mix it up?" Norris bit his lip and replied, "Good idea." Bad idea. After shooting, Chuck asked the man to meet him in the alley behind the studio. Here, Chuck roundhouse kicked the man 37 times in the face, all the while saying, "What now, bitch?" | | 2.95 Roundhouse Kicks (423 votes) | Rate it: |
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