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Chuck Norris is God - ChuckNorrisIsGod.com

Chuck Norris is God

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Top 10 Facts:
# 100A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
4.35 Roundhouse Kicks (2036 votes)Rate it:12345

# 83Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
4.28 Roundhouse Kicks (3279 votes)Rate it:12345

# 1Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.
4.26 Roundhouse Kicks (4253 votes)Rate it:12345

# 151Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
4.25 Roundhouse Kicks (2346 votes)Rate it:12345

# 105Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
4.24 Roundhouse Kicks (3198 votes)Rate it:12345

# 178Chuck Norris lost his viginity before his dad did.
4.23 Roundhouse Kicks (1641 votes)Rate it:12345

# 196Mr. A once claimed that he's tougher than Chuck Norris. Upon hearing about this, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him so hard he flew 19 letters back in the alphabet, becoming Mr. T. Chuck Norris does not pity the fool.
4.22 Roundhouse Kicks (1461 votes)Rate it:12345

# 381In the Coke vs. Pepsi Challenge, Chuck Norris chose Sprite...and he was right.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (1776 votes)Rate it:12345

# 536Scientists created Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sly Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Vin Diesel, and Hulk Hogan by using urine samples from a toilet Chuck Norris once pissed in.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (620 votes)Rate it:12345

# 101Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
4.19 Roundhouse Kicks (2727 votes)Rate it:12345

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15 Random Facts: (more)
# 175Once, between scenes on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, an actor asked Chuck, "Why do you always deliver roundhouse kicks to the bad guys? Why donít you mix it up?" Norris bit his lip and replied, "Good idea." Bad idea. After shooting, Chuck asked the man to meet him in the alley behind the studio. Here, Chuck roundhouse kicked the man 37 times in the face, all the while saying, "What now, bitch?"
2.94 Roundhouse Kicks (449 votes)Rate it:12345

# 63When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
4.15 Roundhouse Kicks (1112 votes)Rate it:12345

# 331Chuck Norris isn't a doctor on TV...He is a doctor.
2.34 Roundhouse Kicks (307 votes)Rate it:12345

# 21Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds.
2.73 Roundhouse Kicks (598 votes)Rate it:12345

# 291Chuck Norris once built a space station out of debris from his beard. Upon completion, Norris roundhouse kicked it into space with him on it. Soon after, CATS showed up to steal Chuck's beard-station. Just before he could finish saying, "All your base are belong to us," CATS received a roundhouse kick to the face, sending him sailing into space. After that, Chuck said, "All your face are belong to Chuck!" CATS received severe brain damage from the incident, was rendered handicapped from the neck down, and now tries to earn an honest living as a florist.
2.34 Roundhouse Kicks (364 votes)Rate it:12345

# 228The Death Star is loosely based on Chuck Norris' orgasm. Now we only have one moon.
2.77 Roundhouse Kicks (331 votes)Rate it:12345

# 215The answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything isn't 42; here's a hint: it begins with Chuck and ends with a roundhouse kick to the face.
3.52 Roundhouse Kicks (321 votes)Rate it:12345

# 518There can be no judgement day. As soon as it tries to happen, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks it in the face. It lies back down.
3.32 Roundhouse Kicks (298 votes)Rate it:12345

# 203When the tricks rabbit didn't give Chuck Norris cereal Chuck Norris round-house kicked him in the face and preceeded to have his way with him.
2.71 Roundhouse Kicks (420 votes)Rate it:12345

# 255Chuck Norris doesn't have emotions, he has kill- motions.
2.86 Roundhouse Kicks (342 votes)Rate it:12345

# 140All the wars in the history of mankind would have been prevented if Chuck Norris wasn't having sex during all of them. Out of all of the people who have tried to stop Chuck Norris from having sex, not one of their bodies was found intact.
2.95 Roundhouse Kicks (332 votes)Rate it:12345

# 628Chuck Norris is not God. God took six days to create the world - Chuck Norris would have done it in two: one day of staring at the terrifed void, and one of roundhouse kicks.
3.29 Roundhouse Kicks (290 votes)Rate it:12345

# 262Chuck Norris doesn't go to church... Church comes to Chuck Norris.
3.54 Roundhouse Kicks (373 votes)Rate it:12345

# 20Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb.
3.34 Roundhouse Kicks (534 votes)Rate it:12345

# 653Jimmy Crack Corn, Chuck Norris Cares.
2.64 Roundhouse Kicks (333 votes)Rate it:12345

-- More Random Facts --

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