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Chuck Norris is God

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Top 10 Facts:
# 100A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
4.36 Roundhouse Kicks (2032 votes)Rate it:12345

# 83Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
4.28 Roundhouse Kicks (3279 votes)Rate it:12345

# 1Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.
4.26 Roundhouse Kicks (4253 votes)Rate it:12345

# 151Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
4.25 Roundhouse Kicks (2345 votes)Rate it:12345

# 105Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
4.24 Roundhouse Kicks (3197 votes)Rate it:12345

# 178Chuck Norris lost his viginity before his dad did.
4.23 Roundhouse Kicks (1639 votes)Rate it:12345

# 196Mr. A once claimed that he's tougher than Chuck Norris. Upon hearing about this, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him so hard he flew 19 letters back in the alphabet, becoming Mr. T. Chuck Norris does not pity the fool.
4.22 Roundhouse Kicks (1460 votes)Rate it:12345

# 381In the Coke vs. Pepsi Challenge, Chuck Norris chose Sprite...and he was right.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (1775 votes)Rate it:12345

# 536Scientists created Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sly Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Vin Diesel, and Hulk Hogan by using urine samples from a toilet Chuck Norris once pissed in.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (617 votes)Rate it:12345

# 101Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
4.19 Roundhouse Kicks (2725 votes)Rate it:12345

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15 Random Facts: (more)
# 651What does Chuck Norris do with 365 rubbers?...Puts them together and calls them a Good Year. -JM
2.75 Roundhouse Kicks (338 votes)Rate it:12345

# 175Once, between scenes on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, an actor asked Chuck, "Why do you always deliver roundhouse kicks to the bad guys? Why donít you mix it up?" Norris bit his lip and replied, "Good idea." Bad idea. After shooting, Chuck asked the man to meet him in the alley behind the studio. Here, Chuck roundhouse kicked the man 37 times in the face, all the while saying, "What now, bitch?"
2.94 Roundhouse Kicks (449 votes)Rate it:12345

# 632Chuck Noris doesn't use the force, he is the force.
3.83 Roundhouse Kicks (389 votes)Rate it:12345

# 390When Chuck Norris looks into a broken mirror, the mirror fixes itself out of respect.
3.91 Roundhouse Kicks (463 votes)Rate it:12345

# 466Chuck Norris has never lost a fight. Ever.
2.68 Roundhouse Kicks (352 votes)Rate it:12345

# 147God didn't rest on the seventh day. He spent it hiding from Chuck Norris.
4 Roundhouse Kicks (598 votes)Rate it:12345

# 415Chuck Norris sent Yoko Ono to destroy John Lennon for unlicensed beard wearing and pacifism. She failed so he roundhouse kicked Lennon at Strawberry Fields.
2.46 Roundhouse Kicks (285 votes)Rate it:12345

# 578Every February 2nd, Chuck Norris emerges from his home. If he sees his shadow, he roundhouse kicks it in the face. This is why we ALWAYS get 6 more weeks of winter.
3.45 Roundhouse Kicks (286 votes)Rate it:12345

# 22Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
3.48 Roundhouse Kicks (494 votes)Rate it:12345

# 705Chuck Norris once opened a can of Campbells chicken noodle soup with his eyeballs.
3.36 Roundhouse Kicks (710 votes)Rate it:12345

# 168Chuck Norris' girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't **** with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
3.65 Roundhouse Kicks (566 votes)Rate it:12345

# 31Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
3.97 Roundhouse Kicks (629 votes)Rate it:12345

# 566The Chuck Norris constant is a number scientists and mathematicians have been searching for for many years, when applied to any equation, it fears for its life and solves itself.
3.68 Roundhouse Kicks (298 votes)Rate it:12345

# 357How many roads must a man walk down? Chuck Norris knows.
3.07 Roundhouse Kicks (311 votes)Rate it:12345

# 186Chuck Norris still hasn't gotten one Jeopardy question wrong. Jesus has missed two.
3.76 Roundhouse Kicks (471 votes)Rate it:12345

-- More Random Facts --

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