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Chuck Norris is God - ChuckNorrisIsGod.com

Chuck Norris is God

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Top 10 Facts:
# 100A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
4.35 Roundhouse Kicks (2036 votes)Rate it:12345

# 83Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
4.28 Roundhouse Kicks (3280 votes)Rate it:12345

# 1Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.
4.26 Roundhouse Kicks (4253 votes)Rate it:12345

# 151Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
4.25 Roundhouse Kicks (2347 votes)Rate it:12345

# 105Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
4.24 Roundhouse Kicks (3198 votes)Rate it:12345

# 178Chuck Norris lost his viginity before his dad did.
4.23 Roundhouse Kicks (1641 votes)Rate it:12345

# 196Mr. A once claimed that he's tougher than Chuck Norris. Upon hearing about this, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him so hard he flew 19 letters back in the alphabet, becoming Mr. T. Chuck Norris does not pity the fool.
4.22 Roundhouse Kicks (1462 votes)Rate it:12345

# 381In the Coke vs. Pepsi Challenge, Chuck Norris chose Sprite...and he was right.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (1776 votes)Rate it:12345

# 536Scientists created Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sly Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Vin Diesel, and Hulk Hogan by using urine samples from a toilet Chuck Norris once pissed in.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (620 votes)Rate it:12345

# 101Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
4.19 Roundhouse Kicks (2727 votes)Rate it:12345

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15 Random Facts: (more)
# 79Chuck Norris's urine was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids. Therefore, Chuck Norris is actually the all-time single-season home run king.
3.66 Roundhouse Kicks (401 votes)Rate it:12345

# 193You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? Well actually if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
2.88 Roundhouse Kicks (328 votes)Rate it:12345

# 513Chuck Norris does not have AIDS- but he gives it to people anyway.
3.78 Roundhouse Kicks (469 votes)Rate it:12345

# 487In Math, Chuck Norris is always greater than anything else, and is only equal to Chuck Norris.
3.82 Roundhouse Kicks (320 votes)Rate it:12345

# 432Chuck Norris is gay. By saying that sentence, my life expectancy is down to three secon-
4.17 Roundhouse Kicks (1005 votes)Rate it:12345

# 674Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked twice the speed of light to prove quantum physics was a bunch of bullshit.
4.01 Roundhouse Kicks (3762 votes)Rate it:12345

# 584There once was a man from Nantuckit...at least until he met Chuck Norris.
3.28 Roundhouse Kicks (297 votes)Rate it:12345

# 152God wanted 10 days to create the world. Chuck Norris gave him 6.
4.12 Roundhouse Kicks (980 votes)Rate it:12345

# 465Chuck Norris can create hand shadows that can roundhouse kick you to death.
3.75 Roundhouse Kicks (348 votes)Rate it:12345

# 71Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
4.15 Roundhouse Kicks (1308 votes)Rate it:12345

# 154Chuck Norris decided it was a good idea to bottle his urine. We’ve come to know it as Red Bull.
4.07 Roundhouse Kicks (870 votes)Rate it:12345

# 118In 1959 Stephen Hawking became the first and only person to outsmart Chuck Norris. He learned his lesson.
4.12 Roundhouse Kicks (1147 votes)Rate it:12345

# 185Michael Jordan owns a Chuck Norris jersey.
4.15 Roundhouse Kicks (545 votes)Rate it:12345

# 229While visiting Europe, early in the 19th century, Chuck Norris was spotted by Dracula. Hoping to convert Chuck Norris into a vampire, and thus ensure the survival of vampires for all eternity, Dracula attempted to drink Chuck Norris's blood. Instead of turning Chuck into a vampire, Dracula turned into a copy of Chuck Norris. But that created a riff in the space time continuum, resulting in a Chuck Norris black hole, which sucked up the original Chuck Norris. However, Chuck quickly gave the black hole a roundhouse kick, defeating it utterly. Chuck Norris wrote an account of this incident, and it was later adapted into the movie Star Trek IV.
3.07 Roundhouse Kicks (433 votes)Rate it:12345

# 447Chuck Norris is a sissy in the same way that Stephen Hawking is a singer.
3.23 Roundhouse Kicks (314 votes)Rate it:12345

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