Chuck Norris is God

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Top 10 Facts:
# 100A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
4.53 Roundhouse Kicks (1432 votes)Rate it:12345

# 1Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.
4.29 Roundhouse Kicks (3759 votes)Rate it:12345

# 83Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
4.25 Roundhouse Kicks (2781 votes)Rate it:12345

# 151Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
4.22 Roundhouse Kicks (1916 votes)Rate it:12345

# 105Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (2730 votes)Rate it:12345

# 178Chuck Norris lost his viginity before his dad did.
4.19 Roundhouse Kicks (1213 votes)Rate it:12345

# 24Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and knew karate.
4.18 Roundhouse Kicks (2473 votes)Rate it:12345

# 381In the Coke vs. Pepsi Challenge, Chuck Norris chose Sprite...and he was right.
4.18 Roundhouse Kicks (1390 votes)Rate it:12345

# 101Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
4.17 Roundhouse Kicks (2356 votes)Rate it:12345

# 159Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
4.17 Roundhouse Kicks (1792 votes)Rate it:12345

15 Random Facts: (more)
# 215The answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything isn't 42; here's a hint: it begins with Chuck and ends with a roundhouse kick to the face.
3.51 Roundhouse Kicks (303 votes)Rate it:12345

# 41Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
4.1 Roundhouse Kicks (1350 votes)Rate it:12345

# 181While on a nature trek in Wasington State, Chuck Norris stubbed his toe on a rock and proceeded to deliver the tiny rock a roundhouse. This event is became known as the Mount St. Helens eruption of May 1980.
3.37 Roundhouse Kicks (316 votes)Rate it:12345

# 277The last summon in Final Fantasy 7 was Chuck Norris, but during beta testing, testers discovered that upon summoning, he roundhouse kicks the enemy, then your party, and then he comes out of the screen and roundhouse kicks you. Square lost so many employees as a result that they were forced to merge with Enix to make up for the loss.
3.24 Roundhouse Kicks (439 votes)Rate it:12345

# 152God wanted 10 days to create the world. Chuck Norris gave him 6.
4.11 Roundhouse Kicks (932 votes)Rate it:12345

# 96Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
4.13 Roundhouse Kicks (1250 votes)Rate it:12345

# 449Chuck Norris has fixed every Superbowl by simply telling the team that he did not bet on, that he did not bet on them. It goes without saying that he has also won every Superbowl bet that he has ever made.
3.04 Roundhouse Kicks (216 votes)Rate it:12345

# 90Deeming his too awesome for the world of mortal men or heaven, God attempted to destroy Chuck Norris by swallowing him. However Chuck Norris beat the shit out of God's insides, causing God to vomit him out. This led to the popular euphamism for vomiting, "Up-Chuck"
3.36 Roundhouse Kicks (436 votes)Rate it:12345

# 143Before Chuck Norris came along, the Martial Arts were referred to merely as the Martial Crafts.
2.99 Roundhouse Kicks (383 votes)Rate it:12345

# 7Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
4.12 Roundhouse Kicks (3080 votes)Rate it:12345

# 561Years ago, Chuck Norris woke up because a T-Rex made loud noises...
2.58 Roundhouse Kicks (278 votes)Rate it:12345

# 491The Statue of Liberty was actually a gift to Chuck Norris by the french. This is why the french continue to exist.
4.14 Roundhouse Kicks (450 votes)Rate it:12345

# 591Chuck Norris eats turds like us for breakfast.
2.28 Roundhouse Kicks (267 votes)Rate it:12345

# 326The US didn't find Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq because the only Weapon of Mass Destruction is Chuck Norris, here in the US.
3.71 Roundhouse Kicks (282 votes)Rate it:12345

# 101Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
4.17 Roundhouse Kicks (2356 votes)Rate it:12345

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